Domestic violence options are abundant and available to all

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, although this issue remains a year-long tragedy suffered by men, women and children.

Statistically, it takes a domestic violence victim leaving their abuser seven times before escaping a dangerous situation for good. This is a statistic that family members and friends should remember when trying to cope with offering support to a victim. A trap that many fall into is becoming frustrated with their loved one for not leaving a dangerous situation and eventually turning their back on the person in need.

The most dangerous time for a victim is the time they’ve decided to leave a situation for good. This is the time when they are most at risk and lowest on resources. It is important to still be an option in the mind of the victim at this time.

Standing by while a friend, son, daughter, sibling or parent is going through something traumatic and not being able to step into their shoes and walk out the door for them is painful. That’s why while offering support one should always keep a close eye on personal stress and mental health levels. Get support to offer support.

Experts on domestic violence don’t recommend intervening in a situation without the request from a victim, unless there are children involved, in which case the best organization to turn to would be child protective services.
Offering unwavering and non-judgmental support to victims is key to them becoming a survivor.

This all good advice for those who are offering help to victims who are being open with their situation, but those who are friends or family to someone they suspect may be a victim of domestic violence who isn’t sharing their struggle should start by educating themselves.

Know the different types of abuse, the cycle of abuse, warning signs that a loved one may be a domestic violence victim, warning signs that a partner of a loved one may be an abuser and always ask a professional for advice before intervening or confronting a loved one.

Part of recognizing a potentially unhealthy situation is to understand domestic violence isn’t just between married or cohabitating hetero couples. Abuse has no boundaries controlled by gender or economic status.

Women can be abusers to men or other women; the same is true for men. Abuse comes in many forms. It could be that the imbalance of power is due to financial control, emotional belittling, sexual abuse, physical abuse or isolation from friends and family.

The saddest thing about abuse is that the majority of it doesn’t leave a visible mark; the bruises left are emotional and psychological. They can break the spirit of a victim and make them feel helpless, all while the victim is trying to create a dual personality to keep their struggle a secret.

This is why it’s so important to remain supportive, help create safety plans with a loved one and offer security no matter how many times a victim may return to their abuser, because you never know when it will be their last.
Victims who feel alone and embarrassed by their struggle should know that according to domesticviolencestatistics.org, domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women—more than car accidents, muggings and rapes combined.

This is not to say that women are the only victims, but in reported cases they are the primary target. It isn’t normal to suffer at the hands of the person you’re supposed to be able to trust and love but it is unfortunately far more common than society is led to believe.

Living with an abusive partner can make a person feel alone and worthless when the opposite is true. There are resources out there for victims hoping to escape. It does make it difficult when there is no family or friends that a victim can turn to. This is often the result of an abuser isolating a victim, but with the right information a victim can become a survivor.

Just remember that even though it is tragic, there are many out there who’ve struggled through the same situation and lived. Making a choice to walk away from an abuser is not one to be taken lightly and precautions must be made, but reaching out for support should always be the first step.