‘The art of humility’ does not equal self-deprecation

Sometimes I get stuck on a topic; particularly when one comes up that might make me want to analyze my character.

Humility seems to be a vital component to leadership, but what does it entail? How does one become humble, and why is it so important? I’ve attended Bible studies where we discussed the art of humility. The definition I encountered was basically this: Thinking of others, over oneself.

I used to mistake humility for self-deprecation. I love the kind of humor that humiliates the self, yet learned that humiliation doesn’t equal humility. I assumed that it kept me “humble,” since I wasn’t overestimating myself.

Now, I’ve learned that over-displaying the negative aspects of oneself is still self-seeking, or at least self-centered.

When I’m trying to find my balance and figure out how I can become humble and get rid of my pride, the constant variable is always myself or I. Affirming other people, complementing them, discussing their problems, and really listening instead of talking helps take myself out of the equation.

It doesn’t have to be negative. Humility can be: “Hey, Mom, I really love your scarf. Your eyes are popping in contrast.”

So, the trick isn’t to concentrate on my own faults, but on other people and how I can support them. Being humble entails a lot of things. It entails being able to admit faults, but not admitting the fault out of guilt – for doing anything out of guilt is actually a way of appeasing oneself. I know I can’t speak for absolutely everyone, though.

Humility means the ability to not be easily angered, or easily offended. It’s being able to recognize when someone may be ignorant or has different intentions than what you might be assuming.

Just as I’ve been discussing with the other extremes, it’s also not letting things go just to avoid conflict, in fear that one might come across as a nuisance.

I hope you can recognize more of these scenarios in your own life. Sometimes, we don’t want to come across as prideful, yet we then go to the opposite, seemingly self-harming alternative. However, unless our motive is centered around the well-being of others, it’s not likely to yield any positive outcomes.

True humility takes practice. Plato said: “the unexamined life is not worth living.” So, good character comes by examining oneself, but perhaps in the context of humility. The focus should be through the lens of caring for others.