Being trans and starting HRT

As of today, April 7, 2022, I have started on my journey for Hormone Replacement Therapy. I have thought long and hard about this decision for months now, and to overcome my body dysphoria I have decided that this is the best choice for me, personally.

That said, there is no right or wrong way to be transgender. You don’t need surgery or HRT to feel happy as you are, and anyone who thinks different has a problem. Trans people do not need politicians, peers, or family speaking for what their experience should be or what it is, because that’s our decision. Whether you wear a binder, walk around in a dress with a full beard, or don’t really show the label, I stand by you.

Gender is a nuanced topic that no cis person can touch upon to the extent that a trans person could, and gender is not as simple as pink or blue, XX or XY chromosomes, penis or vagina. For the cis people that read this and feel like I’m rehashing things that’ve already been said, then get ready to hear it again – because the world discriminating against us is very real and very lethal, and I’m not going to stop advocating for trans rights even if I die at the hands of someone who sees me as a threat.

I’m no threat, and I think there’s much worse in the world than a person changing their gender, a choice that in no way affects another person’s function.

Today, my doctors have prescribed me Estradiol in a 2-milligram pill to take daily. What I can expect from this is enlarged breasts, shrunken testicles, fewer erections, lower sex drives, mood swings, changes in fat distribution, and less muscle tone. These are all things I look forward to and accept; however, there is risk. These include threats to the cardiovascular system,

liver failure, and potential stroke. All of these are mitigated by the cessation of tobacco, exercise, and cardio – which I do consistently enough for this to not be an issue.

Along with Estradiol, if I choose, I can also seek hormone blockers to make it so testosterone is not produced in my system. I have not thought about seeking these yet, because I’d rather start slow.

All of this to say that this is my way of being trans. I am nonbinary, meaning I exist outside the spectrum of “man” or “woman.” Right now, I look like a man to those who aren’t in the know, and growing up this way made me uncomfortable in my own body. I take pride in my appearance and it’s hard to have pride when I look in the mirror and feel as though I am not within this skin that holds me.

Estradiol may change that to the point of people thinking I am a woman, and that’s fine to me. I’d rather look the way I chose to look, just as cis people would. Just because I have different genitals means nothing: There are women with penises and men with vaginas, and if people really want to try and define gender by genitals, then they need to talk to actual, modern biologists rather than relying on simple biology from high school textbooks desperately in need of being updated. Not only this, but there are intersex people to combat this idea – persons born with varied anatomy – so if we were really to link gender only to genitalia, then people wouldn’t know where to put this differing factor.

NOT AN ‘ENEMY’

Although I may now hold the privilege to be proudly out of the closet and seeking medical transitioning, the current state of America is one of disarray, over deciding whether or not people’s decisions are their own to make, yet again.

As the powerful few try to talk over experiences they’ve never had, people find themselves entrapped into calling LGBT people “groomers” or pedophiles, despite the fact that any person in the LGBT community will tell you that we don’t align with these sickening criminals. This ideology is just spat out for the sake of creating enemies out of the people you likely share your work, classrooms, or home, with.

What’s more, the banning of gender affirmation therapy will not stop people from being trans, but could lead to a higher suicide rate and deterioration of mental health because gender affirmation therapy is the therapy needed for transgender people. And by that I don’t mean that we stop being trans, but rather that we accept ourselves and feel brighter about our own future.

I’m not going to stop being trans because a person tells me to, even if I got painful shocks into my head. This doesn’t stop something that is completely natural. That’s a fact, even if it only antagonizes further the people in power who try to talk over us and mitigate our chances of life.

Even within our “blue state” here in Oregon, there is still ignorance we need to combat, as too many people still fear their own children coming out of the closet as something awful. Too many parents refuse to do basic research on the subject and instead let FOX News or Newsmax do the talking for them.

Alongside this, some people like to give money to media that are often aligned against trans people – such as the work of famous author, known bigot, and loud voice in the fight to kill transgender people, J.K. Rowling. Rowling has been an advocate for “trans exclusionary radical feminism,” a flawed ideology that has played a key role in the passing of anti-trans and anti-LGBT legislation that seeks to define a woman solely by her reproductive property and nothing else, an ideology that many have described as hypocritical to feminism itself.

Within this realm of media that secretly punish LGBT youth comes Disney, which has been caught donating to several anti-trans and anti-LGBT legislators and lawmakers in Florida. These transactions have caused outrage among Disney consumers and Disney workers that has led to various strikes at Disney parks. There’s even been the advocation by Disney higher-ups demanding that workers remove any LGBT pins sold in their own stores and, in some cases, the termination of employees who have spoken against the company’s terrible sense of decision-making.

Trans and LGBT rights have yet to finish coming, because until we are safe to walk in every state as open as we want to be without a bigot killing us, we are not safe. Neither are we some scary boogeyman that’ll go away if you kill enough of us. We’re people that you likely have a lot in common with, and maybe instead, you should listen to us.