Fright Town proves to be the best haunted house yet

High-end haunts have always been a favorite for people who enjoy the efforts put into a true quality production, whether it be a play at an opera house or a perfectly executed haunted house.

FrightTown, located inside the dreary gray catacombs of the Veterans Memorial Coliseum, tops the list on conceptual execution for a creepy Friday night scare.

Once down the stairs, it was hard to decide which house to enter first. I would assume that long lines would dictate this on any other evening, but since I was late, as usual, I was greeted by sinister-looking ticket-takers hoping to usher me inside.

Each house has a different theme. I felt each appealed to one’s own ‘horror profile’ – gory, psychological, and paranormal. The first house, “Baron Von Goolo’s Museum of Horrors,” offered a creepy taxidermy walk-through, with a few other fun snarky rooms, such as the overbearing “marijuana judge” sentencing everyone who passed to 100 years in Hell for lighting up, followed by a glowing tiki “devil-weed” gallery of black-lit masks.

The next house had a much more frightening appeal, and was aptly named the “The Madness,” inspired by H.P. Lovecraft. Let’s just say there’s a room with a man and a werewolf I’d rather not talk about, which I cannot un-see. I almost missed the third house completely, so blown way by the first two that I was sated, slipping into a snuff-audience stupor afterwatching the people inside the “Death Ride” scream in terror as a hydraulic coffin shook them senseless.

On my way out, however, THE “Baron Von Goolo” approached me and asked if I seen all three houses – and, after I showed my ticket, he instrcuted, “There, my dear,” and pointed towards The Witch House.

“The Witch House” felt like a slow burn, leading you through a dilapidated building with the energy of something gone terribly wrong. Cue the mutated monsters, swinging rooms of bodies and gore, and the snapping jaws of a giant, zombified horse. Certainly the most intense house, The Witch House offered the most special effects, with specially placed animatronics, loud sound effects, and lively actors who I frequently noticed just inches away from my face.

This haunt has been consistent for a few years now, and is a solid option to take a date or an out-of-town friend. If you head to the show before it closes, make sure to swing by one of the locations where you can pick up a coupon – they are listed on the website and will save you some money if you go with someone. I was only disappointed to see that there wasn’t a gift shop; I would definitely have bought the T-shirt!

And, as one of the Advocate’s graphic designers, I must give a nod to FrightTown’s design team: From buses to billboards, they’ve marketed themselves into the premiere Portland haunt and have the chops to back it up.

Check out our haunted house video online at advocate-online.net

Exhibit Hall beneath the Memorial Coliseum, Rose Quarter, 300 North Winning Way, Portland, frighttown.com. $20-$40.