From Suffering to Sobriety: A Personal Journey Through Addiction and Recovery

Photo by Tony Acker

“Let’s give a moment of silence to the motherfuckers still suffering…” 

These words echo in my brain as a reminder to myself that although I am not exactly where I want to be, I am no longer suffering and causing others to suffer due to the results of my drug and alcohol abuse. 

Another big reminder for me is seeing my community members in severe danger from their substance abuse addictions. I drive by a houseless camp, or someone strung out yelling at demons, and I think to myself, “Holy moly, that used to be me!” 

Honestly, I have probably suffered from addiction since I was 12 years old. It’s funny, because I used to think that was uncommon. I started smoking marijuana and drinking as a pre-teen and pretty much spent the next ten years running from reality – the reality of my emotions, the reality of the harm I was causing myself, and the reality of the damage I was causing my friends and family. I also spent this decade slowly but surely doing more and more hardcore drugs. The only thing that saved me was being extremely lucky.

I was lucky because when I was ready to stop using drugs, there were enough resources around me to get me to stop. And when I mean resources, I mean I moved into my parent’s basement and spent a year alone doing arts and crafts and blocking everyone that ever did drugs with me out of my life. This is extremely rare. I stayed sober on my own for about a year before I reached out to sober communities to help me stay sober for the long term.

Every addict’s journey is similar but also a unique story; these are the tools I used to enter recovery.

It is impossible for me to look down on people living on the streets. I understand these people at such a deep level. And Oregon re-criminalizing drugs is a horrible step in the wrong direction. For one, elected officials are trying to resurrect something that everyone already knows didn’t work before: Making possession of small amounts of drugs illegal. I understand that people get frustrated seeing drug addicts use in public. And, yes, it takes loads of money to provide resources to houseless people and people who need drug treatment. But that should not come as a surprise to anyone, as this is a massive problem pretty much everywhere across America. And yet it is casually expected that society will punish its people for the issues society itself brought upon its people. 

The only solution I can see for such a massive problem is massive support. It is a slow process, but I believe if we as a people keep supporting and providing for our unlucky neighbors, slowly but surely we can heal from this awful timeline of reality.