‘Glutards’ rejoice at Liberated Bakery

 

 

Ivy Davis
the advocate

Have you ever been there?

In a bathroom stall at Albertsons relieving your sad digestive system of its burdens. Exposing your naked bottom to the unsanitary, questionably used facility, the disgusting porcelain toilet of a public restroom. As you sit there, hoping no one enters the restroom into your personally crafted stench. You knew that dairy would not end well, but there you sit as another human being joins you in the festivities from the next stall over.

This may not be your story, but it’s mine. As a “lactard,” I feel the pain of having a restricted diet. Yet there is hope in my life, because I can eat bread. Bread is a wonderful sustenance and I am terribly sad for all those “glutards” in the world. It is a dismal world, indeed, without bread, pasta, and beer.

The gluten-free world is not kind. Most gluten-free breads are dry, crumbly, and flavorless. But, have no fear: Liberated Bakery is here.

Literally, Liberated Bakery is here, in Gresham. The shop’s baked goods are a blessing to the glutards. Though I am not gluten-free, I know people who are: people who complain a lot about not being able to eat anything, and if they can eat, nothing ever tastes good.

If you’ve got one of these friends, take them to Liberated Bakery. It’s the only way to end their bitching. The Bakery makes everything gluten-free, along with making some special dairy-free and vegan goods.

While at Liberated Bakery, I consumed both an Almond Joy cookie, and My Roommate’s Favorite sandwich. Unlike my normal self, I was a good person and ate the lunch before the desert. The sandwich was made on fresh, gluten-free flatbread with ham, cheddar, lettuce, tomato, cucumber, avocado, cream cheese, and a bit more ham squeezed in the middle, creating a two-and-a-half-inch thick sandwich. Though it was difficult to get the sandwich in my mouth, it was worth it. The cheese set my bowels afire, but the bread tasted like real bread. That’s right, good-tasting, gluten-free bread. It didn’t even crumble apart. The only thing that fell from the sandwich was the avocado I later licked off my plate. My Roommate’s Favorite was surprisingly delicious.

As for that Almond Joy cookie… Sweet Jesus! Actually made from shredded coconut, it makes one wonder if this is really a cookie. Liberated Bakery put it all on this cookie – sliced almonds and dribbled chocolate. Say “yum.” “Yum!” Though my opinion could be biased from the fact that I love actual Almond Joys, there were plenty of other sweets and baked goods at the Bakery to explode anyone’s tastebuds.

Following Liberated Bakery on Facebook would mean getting a day-by-day menu of what they have cooking. The baked good menu changes daily for a new surprise in delicious consumable delights. A glutard’s mouth would water just looking at pictures of sweets they could actually eat.

Eating good food is the important part, even with a restricted diet. I agree with Google on this, Liberated deserves a 4.5. So, for all y’all glutards, lactards, and freaky vegans out there, go enjoy Liberated Bakery.

Liberated Bakery is at 2518 S.E. Burnside Road in Gresham. Hours: 8 a.m. to 6 p.m., Monday through Saturday. See: liberatedbaking.com.