‘Golden age’ of Hollywood comes to an end

Every year, there seems to be a general consensus that some film got screwed over during the tense gap between the Golden Globes and the Oscar nominations. This year’s collection of the perennial orphan movies are: “Selma,”  “Foxcatcher,” and “The Lego Movie.”

How shocking! I can’t believe that such an elderly and wizened group of individuals didn’t appreciate movies about civil rights, millionaires going to jail, and entirely new mediums for a feature-length film.

The Academy Awards are outdated and out of touch. What started as self-promotion in 1929 is now a sad charade attempting to emulate a “golden” age of film.

Today’s Hollywood is clearly not the Hollywood of 50 years ago, so why does the Academy insist on treating it as such? Teens are now – for better, or worse – the target demographic in much of the movie industry, and our big-screen idols reflect that. The least worthy way to recognize these people’s achievements is to dress them up in tuxedos and dresses and make them golf clap for three and a half hours.

But the Academy just keeps ignoring this problem, and the Golden Globe Awards keep pulling closer and closer towards earning the higher credibility. And why wouldn’t they? They’re the Academy of the next generation. Sure, the event might be a bit more crass, and even quite a bit more drunk (a risk that comes with any event that has an open bar), but for all of that, it’s even less pretentious. Being the red-headed stepchild of the entertainment industry has its benefits, I would argue.

Yes, I am referring to the Academy Awards(!) Yes, it was a portentous event at one time, but it’s peaked and its graduates can’t help but cling to a misguided sense of nostalgia now holding them back from their former glory. And I think we can all agree that the elimination of awkward on-stage musicals during the Golden Globes was a welcome gesture. (And I do mean awkward… COUGHSethMacFarlaneCOUGH.)

Not that I would blame any comedian or TV personality brave enough to take on such a suicidal mission (hosting the Oscars) for a poor performance. It’s truly a thankless job. The crowd is always wooden at the Academy Awards, and for good reason. Circle jerks are just no fun when you’re wearing a tuxedo.

The Academy seems to keep with this theme of self-induced reverence when choosing its hosts. Billy Crystal recently hosted for his ninth time, and it makes you wonder if it’s only because Bob Hope wasn’t around to give a potential 20th performance. Humor always represents a shift in power, so it’s no wonder that the Acadamy is so uncomfortable.

There’s just no way to force this arcane group of “critics” out of the past; they’re just going to have to get there by themselves. But in the meantime, feel free to cut loose at the Golden Globes.