Learn up: different ways to indulge

As a stoner, it is important to know the best ways to smoke. Every person is different and therefore there are many ways to get a daily dose of THC.

For the desperate:

Every stoner has had that moment: high-strung, pocket of bud, and nothing to smoke with. These sad moments of life can cause a person to do some things they’re not proud of. In a pinch an apple, tin can, or water bottle can work. In order to get these items grooving one will need a pen, toothpick, or sharp object. For an apple remove the stem, poke several holes straight down into the core, then use the hollow tube shape of the pen to puncture a hole in the side of your Granny Smith: Voilà, apple pipe. Tin cans require a sharp object – pop a few holes into a small area of the can near the bottom. The can will sustain some dents, giving it a flat top or indented area around the holes – this is what you want. Set your bud over the holes, light it, and put your mouth to the tab for a sweet aluminum inhale. If you have a ballpoint pen handy, the tube makes for a great stem: Jam it in a water bottle, and you have a bong.

Stepping up a notch:

After a few weeks you might run out of apples. At this point one’s got to step up his or her game. Go out and get a pipe. If the pipe doesn’t hit it right, there are bubblers, joints, and blunts. Pipes and bubblers are close to being the same, the difference is a bubbler doesn’t hit as harsh. If you don’t have the cash on hand for glass, papers are like a buck and swisher don’t cost much more. Joints are quick and easy whereas blunts take a little more time and refining when it comes to removing and replacing the tobacco. Blunts do, however, have a nicer taste and last longer than joints.

Becoming a stoner:

If you own a bong you’re a stoner – that’s just it. There’s no judgment here as bongs and zongs (zigzag bongs) have a much better taste and feel. A personal favorite here is the “milky”: a half-tobacco, half-marijuana combo bowl that sets a soul back into the depths of a cozy couch. At the stoner stage in life, joints can become more of an art form. Tulip and cross joints not only look cool but give a person a little more ‘umph’ when it comes to smoking out of paper. Release your inner artist one on the bud of marijuana.

When you’ve gone too far:

It’s not that you’ve gone too far, it’s that you’ve reached the end of what society has invented for smoking pot. At this stage in the THC life comes oils and hash. Some people don’t think heating a metal nail with a blowtorch is too far, while others do. In the end, it’s all crystals. Using a grinder can benefit a person when it comes to kief – very fine crystals of marijuana. Kief can be placed on top of bowls to create a stronger potency of THC. Kief can knock you on your ass. Hash is the leftover resin from trimming bud, and used properly it can make oil. Oil is the strongest form of THC – a fun, waxy form that melts on contact with burning hot metal nails on dab rigs. Oil can also be used to decorate blunts for higher THC levels or be used in bowls. Make sure you get professional-grade stuff, though: Amateurs don’t always cook all of the butane out of their oil, which can leave you with a nasty cough and an addiction to lighter fluid.

Becoming a baker:

No, you’re not a real baker, but you can cook up some dope Rice Krispies. Brownies are good, too, so don’t leave them out of the baked good sales. Becoming an edible master is true a talent and calling. Whether you’re making gummy, lollipops, or muffins, someone’s going to want to buy your goods. You can basically put THC butter into everything, which makes a person wonder why they don’t cook with it on a regular basis.