North Korea’s rocket threats fall short of its target

Hail, Supreme Leader!

Or at least, that’s all anyone can say in North Korea as Kim Jong-Un rattles his saber at the United States and pledges to attack the U.S. with a preemptive nuclear strike over imagined threats to North Korean security supposedly made by the U.S. and South Korea.

North Korea and its leaders, the indefatigable Kim dynasty consisting of Kim Il-sung, his son Kim Jong-Il and current supreme wacko, Kim Jong-Un, have a been known to make increasingly crazed threats and gestures since the end of the Korean War in the early 1950s. The fact that these tyrants seem ready and willing to go to war over imagined slights ought to be a good indication of they and their nation’s mental state: delusional.

These threats come alongside a flurry of movement around North Korea in the last year, as missiles are moved towards launch pads in March of 2012 whilst South Korea holds an international nuclear security summit, troops are deployed all over the country, the military fires a test rocket that essentially falls apart into the sea and old nuclear sites are in the process of reopening. 

As North Korea seems to be readying itself for an international scuffle, its government made sure to approach diplomacy with South Korea as tenderly as possible, shutting off telephone communications and shutting South Korean workers out of a joint-Korean factory in North Korea. This is happening while the state-run media points fingers and shouts at the U.S. and South Korea for their annual “war games” training and flights of American military aircraft over South Korea.

This led North Korea to release a propaganda video last month that showed theoretical attacks on the U.S., including scenes of attacks on the Capitol and the White House.

On top of all of this action, North Korea is increasingly blathering a torrent of threats to the international community, as well as the U.S., claiming earlier this month that it can no longer guarantee the safety of foreigners.

It’s important at this point to take a step back and look at the rest of the world has to say to Kim and North Korea if they maintain this insanely hard line: The United Nations (UN) unanimously passed increased sanctions against the country in early March of this year, with China, North Korea’s main ally, supporting the sanctions as a means to stabilize the Korean peninsula; Britain has called for the international community to essentially take a chill-pill and try and talk the North Koreans down from any possible red-button-pushing and itchy trigger fingers they might have; Russia said Sunday through multiple spokespersons that they stand by the UN while urging cool and calm heads to prevail.

Even the Czech Republic considered closing down its embassy in Pyongang but decided against it, as the North Korean diplomat assured that its embassy was not a target (but also would not guarantee safety by the North Korean government).

All of this posturing and bellicose ranting by North Korea sums to down to one thing: these Kim headcases sure like attention.

The “coincidence” that all these threats and plans by North Korea happen to match up to the 100th anniversary of Kim Il-sung’s birth is no real coincidence, at all. Much as the Advanced Placement/College Board likes to match its history exam essay questions to historical anniversaries, North Korean leaders like to show off on anniversaries. In this case, their “showing off” could ignite a nuclear war that could drag half the globe into the conflict.

Or, it could just be ignored.

Perhaps not entirely ignored, but at least taken with a grain of salt: The most recent rocket launches by North Korea resulted in abject failure and in an unconfirmed “success” of putting a satellite in orbit. In 2009 it tested similar missiles, with most just flying a little past Japan and just thoroughly annoying everyone.

So, instead of dusting out the old Cold War-era nuclear shelters, everyone should calm down and let President Obama play a little game of paper, rock or drone, in case North Korea gets too crazy.