Pet peeves plaguing me: why I won’t make it past 40

As I sat on the MAX on my way home the other day, I noticed an individual (Douchebag A) talking to one of his friends (Unfortunate B) about how one of their other friends was sleeping with Unfortunate B’s girlfriend at that exact moment. Unfortunate B was on the brink of tears with his cell phone pressed firmly against his ear shouting at his GF through the phone while Douchebag A kept egging his friend on.

Just another typical ride on your friendly, neighborhood TriMet MAX to irritate the hell out of you – which got me thinking about what else happens on an everyday basis that annoys people.

Here is a list of everyday pet peeves that we as society deal with, and especially at MHCC:

5: Chewing gum land mines – Now this one might just be me, but I find it hard to believe that I’m the only person at Mt. Hood who has accidentally stepped in these little serendipitous land mines on their way to class. Especially in the back lots, it seems like people have littered them so that you can’t make it to class without suffering some sort of casualty. It’s just laziness. There are multiple trash cans located in easy-to- find places all over campus, but no, instead, I now have to rummage through my wallet and find an old Safeway Rewards Card or, more likely, my library card that I got when I was 12 and now use only to scrape these land mines off my shoes.

4: Mouth breathers – This is one of those things where you either know what I’m talking about, or you don’t. These individuals are the ones sitting behind us in class doing their best impression of Darth Vader on his deathbed. For the most part, I can understand and I’m conscientious of individuals with medical issues. However, if you are a completely healthy human being who just happens to be a heavy breather while the instructor is explaining the industrialization of Europe, it can be a tad bit more than a little distracting. What can you do, though, what PC way is there to turn around and tell someone they sound like a haggard donkey with earplugs shoved into its nostrils? Even “Hey, your breathing is distracting me from the class,” is pretty dickish.

3: Slow walkers – Have you ever been headed to class with only three minutes to get there, but you find yourself in the middle of classroom rush hour? You are moving down the hall at a reasonable pace when all of a sudden you make a turn and find yourself held up by an individual who just happens to have no time schedule for the day. They are perfectly content just moseying their way down the hall with no consideration to who is behind them. The right is walled off; you try to go left, but students and teachers are practicing their best impression of a linebacker rushing for the quarterback. You try clearing your throat, and nothing happens. You clear your throat again and this person has the gall to turn around and give you a Ricola. Moments like this during the day make you wonder why you aren’t a mass murderer.

2: Angry drivers – Have you ever been in the car with someone who obviously hates being on the road? Where every time something unfortunate or idiotic happens, their blood pressure raises far too many points? I happen to frequent car rides with people such as this. On one such occasion, the loaded AK that was my driver’s mouth started firing every curse that could come to mind, for stopping for a stoplight for the third time on Burnside. Is that really necessary? Could he not have Wooo-Saaa’d himself back to being content? Even after releasing what seemed to be more emotion than the moment seemed to call for, he still clung to a bit of anger… almost as if that vile is keeping him going as much as his foot on the petal is keeping the car going.

1: People who don’t care –  My last peeve hinted at how annoying I find lazy people, or people who don’t care, who I like to call “people placeholders.” These people are content just walking through life, not putting forward any effort whatsoever. You’ve seen them; they’re in your classes, the ones sitting at the back of the room drooling on their Algebra textbook while the teacher explains the Pythagorean theorem for the third time. They’re even at your job, the ones who clean things half-assed, so that most people don’t notice until the next time some employee goes to clean and finds a grotesque heap of laziness that someone “forgot” to get. I hope these people placeholders irritate everyone else as much as they do me.