Prepare for beard overload and more during No-shave November

Hide your Norelco in the closet for prostate cancer. Lock your Gillette in the cabinet for multiple sclerosis. This year men and women together will ban the razor to show solidarity for several causes while participating in No-shave November.

This world-wide, fall tradition has many variations but one rule is always the same: You cannot shave a single hair on your body.
The ritual is a spin off of Movember, a movement to grow mustaches from scratch during the month that started in an Adelaide, Australia, pub in 1999, according to www.movember.org.

I have my own theory about how No-shave November became a rallying point for charities in November. At www.urbandictionary.com, user “onetimethingg” posts that women may find it repulsive for a man to have a rough beard. He continues that this may lead to the man receiving “beard burn,” i.e. being cut off from sex for the month. Ahh, but how well would that threat go over if he were growing his beard for charity?

The most common way for a participant to raise money during the month is to have your beard sponsored. Several groups, such as Boston University’s Law Men’s No-Shave November for the Make-A-Wish Foundation, are raising money for their own awareness groups.

In addition to the charity, No-shave November is also a chance for solidarity with your fellow students. Say hello to your neighbor with a friendly beard scratch. Maybe someone will even start a campus group that meets weekly to compare beards and share stories about that neck itch that won’t go away. I’ll keep my eye out for a poster about when and where we’re going to meet.

Besides charity and fraternity, another good reason to participate in No-shave November is to impress your family. Thanksgiving is near the end of the month and your facial hair will be three-weeks old by then. With facial hair growing at a rate of about a half-inch per month, according to www.hairfinder.com, your parents will be mighty impressed with your show of manhood at the table in three weeks. Heck, you may even get to carve the turkey this year.

Or you can always participate for the same reason I do: laziness.
Women shouldn’t be shy about participating either. Skirts will be popular on campus this month as ladies show off their stubbly legs. There are pictures of ladies at the Movember website who are wearing fake mustaches for the month. Even if all you do is sponsor, though, everyone has an opportunity to be involved.

This month is not all about fun and games though. I would like to offer some requests for the safety of the general public. First, no tank tops. It’s too cold outside anyways and no one else wants to see your armpit hair. Second, if you work in the food service industry, please invest in a hairnet. And the last safety rule is: Don’t hurt our eyes with your Gallagher impersonations. If you’re a little shy on top but bushy on the sides, invest in a hat you can wear for a month and there won’t be any complaints.

Let’s make this year a No-shave November to remember by posting pictures of your beard on the Advocate’s Facebook page at www.facebook.com/TheAdvocateOnline.