‘Super-official journalism’: free books on Jefferson

About Thursday of last week, a small brown package made its way onto my desk. It’s not terribly unusual at the Advocate to get mail, but this was a package, probably a foot long, six inches wide and two inches thick.

Inside was… a book on Thomas Jefferson! “Jefferson’s America: The President, the Purchase, and the Explorers Who Transformed a Nation.”

I know what you’re thinking – “I don’t give even the slightest bowel movement about this.” But I do – immediately I remembered my journalism instructor from high school, talking about how media outlets used to send free stuff in the hopes of getting a review, stuff like movie tickets, sporting event passes, or books in this case. It doesn’t happen so much now, since it’s harder to stay objective if the home team bought your spot for you. This was super-official journalism! The Thomas Jefferson people are just dying to get in our paper!

So I read it, because it was already in the room, and I’m bad at managing my free time.

Disclaimer: Unless you want to read some interesting (or at least I thought so) facts about Thomas Jefferson or the Louisiana Purchase, stop reading now. This column has no other redeeming value.

And let me tell you, he was a character. Jefferson was always a man of singular purpose, or obsession, depending on who you ask. During his presidency, he was enamored with the Louisiana Purchase, but from his time spent as secretary of state until his vice presidency, he was typically doing one of two things: feuding with Alexander Hamilton, or farming, which he was really bad at despite how much time he spent writing letters about the subject.

He also had a knack for resigning/retiring “for good” from politics several times, which happened after his stints as governor of Virginia, secretary of state, and vice president.

The explorers who surveyed the Purchase were downright weird, though.

Several attempts at exploration were made before Lewis and Clark’s voyage, a few of which ran out of funds as soon as they got into Native American territory, since there were some very active brothels there at the time, and these guys bankrupted themselves.

The trips into the deep South were an absolute nightmare compared to Lewis and Clark’s journey, in which only one man died on the expedition, from what was most likely appendicitis.

That’s all I have for now. If you’re interested, come by Room 1369 and I’ll give you the book when I’m finished.