TILT burgers do not disappoint, orgasm-worthy

Imagine having an orgasm, in your mouth, as you eat fries, of all things. Now that you have that mental picture, add teriyaki sauce, pineapple, and Swiss cheese – on a burger.

Now that you’re probably drooling- unless you don’t like pineapple, in which case you’re crazy – I’ll tell you about TILT. Like many great restaurants in the area, TILT is tucked away in Portland, at 14th and Everett. It’s a burger place, if you haven’t figured that one out from the first paragraph.

Aesthetically, it seems, TILT is trying a little too hard to look industrial. Everything is made out of metal or hard wood with nuts and bolts showing. The owners took the industrial look all the way into the rest rooms. On the bright side, you know when someone is in a stall because of the huge clang sound the stalls make when being literally bolted shut. (TILT did do one thing right: reusable napkins – you know, the red rags every contractor uses because they’re cheap.) For God’s sake, this is trying way too hard to be hip – and hip isn’t even in, anymore!

Secondly, TILT burgers are mouthwatering. After attempting to fit my burger into my mouth, with success on the third try, I forgave TILT for its overuse of steel and metal decorations. I had the Island Trucker burger. The Trucker includes a chuck patty, sweet ham, onion ring, grilled pineapple, house teriyaki sauce, Swiss cheese, lettuce, and mayo. Honestly, if it wasn’t for the squishable chuck patty, this burger would have never fit into my mouth. The combo of the pineapple, teriyaki, onion ring, and ham was to die for.

As for my date’s sandwich, from which I stole a bite when he was taking a break, I can say it too was divine. The Groundhog burger was made up of a chuck patty, grilled bacon-honey mushrooms, bacon, grilled onions, and Swiss cheese. This burger, though not as good as the Island Trucker in my opinion, was well worth drooling over. The mushrooms really pulled it together. I only wish my date would have stayed in the bathroom longer so I could take more bites.

I’ve always been a potato person; I like being a couch potato when I can and I like eating potatoes in any form. Though not my all-time favorite fry, the Original Beer Battered House Fries at TILT also were orgasm-worthy. I couldn’t stop drooling over the taste and fresh crispness. I couldn’t stop shoveling the fries into my face, either. The house sauce they came with, though interesting to the taste buds, was not my favorite, either. In all honesty, the fries were so good they didn’t need sauce. Though TILT’s look just isn’t my thing, their food is – so, 4 stars from me. The restaurant has many burgers, salads, biscuits, sides, and PIES. So if you’re ever in downtown Portland and feeling for burgers and fries, go enjoy TILT.

TILT is at 1355 N.W. Everett St.

Advocate Staff