Stereotypes in the parking lot

Everyone knows that parking can be a little tight in the morning at Mt. Hood because everyone hears about it from everyone else. We have been here long enough and spent enough of our lives parking that we’ve noticed some trends. And we feel that we have compiled enough data to classify a majority of the different types of parkers. Which one are you?

First, we have The Lurker. This parker seeks out someone who is walking to his or her car, and will patiently follow them. They will stalk their prey for minutes until that motorist has left the spot. Don’t be too intimidated by these would-be predators, if you are the one leaving, the most punishment you’ll receive for taking your time is a dirty look and some under-the-breath insults.

There also is The Dreamer. This is the most adorable, if likely the most foolish, collection of parkers. They believe there is a perfect parking spot with their name on it. They are so dedicated to this notion that they will shoot for the front of the lot and circle it until their dream comes true. They can be both pleasant and irritating to ride with. They won’t start throwing a tantrum if things go south, but they will take forever driving past perfectly good spots if they are not within spitting distance of their destination.

Next, we have The Procrastinator. This is a cousin of the dreamer. No matter how many times they are faced with the problem of coming to school five minutes before class and being late, they do it anyway, and still expect to get a good spot. You can hear them coming a mile away because they will mask their laziness with the “lack of parking spots” excuse.

And, finally, we have The Pragmatist. They have a very “screw it” attitude towards parking. They accept the first spot they are offered, no questions asked. They shoot straight for the back parking lots because they know they will have a spot, for sure. There are even those who head straight to the Athletics lots (yes, the boonies!) for their spots. Regardless of the walk or weather, they will endure with a stern face of indifference.

However, there are a few things all these groups have in common. They whine incessantly about their parking woes. Just about every morning, and in every class, you hear somebody complaining about something parking related (we are guilty, too).

Whining about parking is an extremely petty exercise in how far we can spit in the face of our good fortune.

There are plenty among us who don’t have the luxury of a car. Our complaints sound really stupid to the guy who has to walk half a mile in the blistering cold. Or, to the person who rides the bus and must endure the cramped seating, bad smells and occasional weirdo who won’t stop talking to you.

And, for what? So we don’t have to walk for an extra three minutes to our class. God forbid we get a little exercise in our routine day.

Believe it or not, there is usually always an open spot in the lot. Even if it’s a little far from our class, we just have to park, deal with it, and go on with our day.  And, unless someone has a spare million, or ten, to spend adding capacity at Mt. Hood, it’s not going to change.