Dank head shops near you

When you walk in the door you’re greeted with a room that is usually poorly lit and puts off sometimes-more-than-slightly sketchy vibes. There’s reggae playing in the background, but no one is wearing anything close to the type of bubbly smile than would someone on the cover of a reggae album. If there weren’t display cases everywhere, you might think you had stumbled into some sort of Hot Topic that grew up and became really jaded in his late 20s and is just now thinking about mellowing out.

But for all its squalor, the place has a certain charm. The brightly colored wall of miscellaneous plastic bags containing a list of chemicals that just as easily could be used in some ant traps is borderline comfortable to be around, for whatever strange reason. The pipes are arranged with TLC occupying the space in between them, and the THC soon to be occupying that very same space is just as tangible.

Welcome to your friendly neighborhood head shop: For those of you not adventurous enough to sift through the mud to find your own chunk of glass gold, here’s The Advocate’s “do’s ands don’t’s” for some of the metro area’s head shops. 

 

All-Stop Discount Pipes and Tobacco. (1458 N.E. Burnside Road, Gresham. Open 7 a.m. to 11 p.m. weekdays, 7 a.m. to midnight on weekends.)

The name says it all – they’re open until midnight and they have basically everything you could need to smoke like a champ. Forget your papers and it’s 10 p.m. on a Tuesday? Look no farther. Also, there’s a pretty sizable array of ten-dollar pipes for you potheads on a budget. Watch out for the curb on the way in, though.

 

Rip City Glass (39080 Pioneer Blvd., Sandy. Open 10 a.m. to 8 p.m., daily.)

It’s the type of smoke shop you would expect to find in Sandy (yeah, I don’t know why they named it that, either). The people are much friendlier than you would find in Gresham, and slower, too. It’s the ideal place at which to stop and stock up before a trip up to the mountain.

 

Third Eye Shoppe (3950 S.E. Hawthorne Blvd., Portland. Open 10 a.m. to 9 p.m. weekdays, 11 a.m. to 8 p.m. weekends.)

If you want the whole experience, this is the place to go. Heading into the shop, one cannot help but be overwhelmed by the atmosphere. Pipes, bongs, and bubblers are littered all through the glass cases, proudly displaying the artists’ designs. That’s right, artists. I’d like to see any one of you turn a glass skeleton into a water pipe. The best design has got to be the Star Wars Storm Trooper E-11 blaster rifle pipe.

Besides the paraphernalia, the shop offers many odds and ends for the sober civilian. They have a fairly wide assortment of sweaters, hoodies, T-shirts, and other clothes. Besides the duds, Third Eye sells hilarious coffee table and on-the-pooper books. I picked up a 300-page sticker book filled with London artists’ designs for myself.

Not only is this a good shop to buy a jaw-dropping piece that will leave your friends speechless, it’s the one-stop shopping center for any ganja-related items.

 

Nomad Crossing (3959 S.E. Hawthorne Blvd., Portland. Open 11 a.m. to 8 p.m., Monday through Saturday, noon to 8 p.m. on Sunday.)

If you’re on Hawthorne and you’ve just visited Third Eye Shoppe, you might as well stop by at Nomad’s. It’s just across the street and also has a great selection of artistic pieces.

This shop is well lit, and far from intimidating. Upon entering the store, you’ll immediately find yourself surrounded by glass cases full of glass and other paraphernalia. The shop has a great selection of pipes of all types, as well as electronic inhaling devices. There are also plenty of stickers, and the walls are decorated with various clever graphic T-shirts available for purchase. If you’re looking for glass devices, this is a great place to go, but not if you want electronic devices.