Review scores are a detriment

I hate entertainment review scores. They are an unnecessary addition to each and any review, a detriment to both readers and writers of a review or critique. Let me tell you why.

When there is a score, people have a tendency not to read the review. I’ve done it myself. I will read the first couple paragraphs, get bored, then skip right to the score. It’s really hard to commit to the whole article when you already have a general sense of what someone thinks about something.

You can try to ignore the score, but it’s like a temptress that calls out and says, “Hey, Danny. You don’t want to read this whole thing. Just look at me and make it easier on yourself.”

I put a lot of effort into my reviews. I try to construct an in-depth analysis of something to better inform my readers, and also hope to make it an entertaining read. I can’t break down all the complexities of my opinion into one simple number. I also don’t want that number to represent all of my work. I hate the idea of someone bypassing my review because they saw a score and didn’t need any more.

Am I saying that if you don’t take the time to read my whole review, then you don’t get my opinion at all? Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying. Read it, or don’t.

Another big flaw in a review score is that it purports a perfect ranking that might be achieved. Nothing is perfect, so how can you deem something so? I have never seen a film that I could say was a perfect “10,” five stars, a full bag of popcorn, 100 percent or whatever. Even the movies I love and get weird about (“Goodfellas,” “Pulp Fiction,” “Elephant”) have some noticeable flaws.

Various review websites and critics defend this by saying that there is still room for error, but the score represents just how much they love that work. That doesn’t make any gosh-darn sense. How can something achieve a perfect rating and still have errors?

The problem is, numbers rely on logic and statistics. Love and passion defy logic. The two just don’t fit.

When you start grading something, you assume there are criteria to be met in order for it to be a good thing. That’s how we grade schoolwork. Teachers will give you a syllabus that details exactly what is needed to fulfill their requirements, so there is no excuse or room for argument when the score is plastered on your test or paper.

There are no all-encompassing criteria for what makes good art or entertainment. Obviously, there are some basic guidelines to quality. You can’t just film your crap for three hours and call it a statement on the fallacy of mankind (I hope that’s not a thing), or glue two matchsticks together and pass it off as a sculpture. Or, those things may be amazing to somebody. That’s the catch. Everyone has different standards for what passes as quality, and that’s why grading is irrelevant in reviews.

Review scores also provide tons of ammunition for pointless fanboy debates that end in bloody, misspelled carnage. This is particularly bad in the gaming community. Somebody will flip out if something they like is scored too low, or their egos will swell if something they like has scored high. Taking the score away would put out all of this flame-war garbage.

I’m not crazy; I get it – the appeal of scores. People just want an easily digestible number for a recommendation, without needless research. Well, I don’t like feeding this instant-gratification disease that has plagued all forms of reviews.

Review compilation sites, like Metacritic and Rotten Tomatoes, have taken this in the worst possible direction. Almost every review for anything is ground up into one stupid-proof number. Now, you may see an easy ‘yes’ or ‘no’ for consumer purposes, but I see a literary bloodbath. Thousands of reviews that people put thought and care into end up ignored, never to be read: People’s hard work, reduced to one paltry number.

In short, I think an opinion is too complex to be represented by a number, and art is too subjective to be graded on some arbitrary scale. However, like all opinions, which reviews are, that’s just me. If you love scores and feel they add value to your reviews, who am I to stop you? I just can’t stand them. And, that’s why you will never see a score on my reviews… except for “Captain Philips”… and “Ride Along”…  per our protocol at The Advocate (sigh).